OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
