you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
