Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
