how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
