the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
