I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We got so high we made milksteak
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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