mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
