dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
