i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
