she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
