we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
