Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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