I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
