just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
