I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
