Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
