Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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