Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
