Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
