You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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