I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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