I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
