Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
