Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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