All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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