thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
