i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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