Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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