soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the day after is always just damage control
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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