This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize