How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize