Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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