the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
