So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
