i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
