Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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