I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
