My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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