i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
