guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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