Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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