If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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