idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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