Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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