is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
