I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
