I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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