I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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