I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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