I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
