I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
