you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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