apparently the secret to your success is patron
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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