had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize