yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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