I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
