i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
