Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i drank out of a bidet.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
