I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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